vroomxcore @ 2007-02-25T23:01:00

2007-02-26T07:13:05Z

I'd like to say my social skills are degrading but I think my level of care is instead..I have to fight myself to care about my relationships with people which is really scary because I'm afraid I'll lose them but I'm glad that Sara loves me even though I'm horrible. The question is, how many others will? and can i make new friends? is there any hope for me to have more than that? I should just give up on that, ha. I've started taking prozac again..i wonder if that's what's giving me these weird headaches and just general strange sensations...when i first took them i started at a small dose and went up...i think its to see if i get side effects mostly..but also to get my body used to the drug...this time i just started at the regular dosage right away and i wonder if it's messing me up right now. i hate my rowing coach. i stirred up one of my nice little cauldrons of hate for him over reading break. so glad i didn't stay here. i would've killed someone. i keep smelling something burning and i really hope it's real. but not, because that could be a bad thing...like this building being on fire...who can know me? why do people think they can know me? i feel so fragmented. being here is stressful. i already want to leave. i wish i were better. i hate writing in this because i feel like you all read it and just don't say anything and it's like i pour out my fucked up soul into empty space. i hate this bullshit fake connectedness this shit like livejournal and myspace and all those worthless things bring. i miss real people. i miss joshua. i miss having something. what changed? i changed. what's wrong with me? i get worse every day. don't comment this if you don't have anything constructive to say. you all rarely do, but its that rareness that i'm hoping for.

vroomxcore @ 2005-04-22T23:08:00

2005-04-23T07:08:07Z

friends only.

ego

vroomxcore @ 2007-02-25T23:01:00

vroomxcore @ 2005-04-22T23:08:00